If you are a human being, sooner or later you will need to ask someone for help. And more often than not, you will dread having to do so. Maybe you’ll ask in some strangulated way and the person will say no, or maybe the person will say yes but the whole situation will become awkward and both of you will feel uncomfortable for days afterward. Whether your request is for work, personal, or fundraising purposes, there are reasons why asking for help is so problematic. Researchers have actually studied this phenomenon.
In her latest book, REINFORCEMENTS (subtitled How to Get People to Help You), social psychologist Heidi Grant (author of No One Understands You and What to Do About It, among others) once again provides clear-eyed, humorous explanations that connect extensive research with real life. She systematically addresses 1) why it’s difficult/painful to ask for help, 2) how to ask anyway, and 3) how to create a culture of helpfulness.
Bottom line: You should ask for help. Directly. And read this book for further instructions.